My first trimester.

The first trimester of pregnancy is full of excitement, but also full of uncertainty, vulnerability and well… nausea.

If you’re pregnant, or have been pregnant, perhaps you were one of the lucky ones without any pregnancy symptoms. But the reality is that more than half of pregnant people do experience mild to strong symptoms such as the dreaded nausea or morning sickness (which doesn’t really happen only in the mornings, but it’s more of an all-day kind of thing…).

Most people don't start telling the world about their pregnancy until they’ve passed the 3-month or 13-week mark, as after this time the chances of having a miscarriage decrease by 99%.

With that said, the first trimester can also be rather lonely. But since I am now beyond my 3rd month (currently 23rd week), I can finally tell you all about how it went for me. Mainly to remind you that if you are going through this or go through this at any point in the future, you do not have to go through it alone.

Week 4 to 8: Lots of question marks

My husband and I planned this pregnancy. We thought it would be good to start trying but did not expect that it would happen so fast. As women get older, the chances of getting pregnant are notably reduced. Women over 30 who are healthy only have a 20% chance of getting pregnant each month. That means that for every 100 fertile 30-year-old women trying to get pregnant in 1 cycle, 20 will be successful and the other 80 will have to try again. Well, it was to my and my partner’s surprise to see that BFP (big fat positive) test after our first try! (I will write a post soon on how I track my cycles and what I believed help us concieve so fast). We were beyond happy to have conquered the first “hurdle” but knew that the chances of our baby surviving the first 12 weeks aren’t a given. About 1 in 3 women will have had a miscarriage during their fertile life, especially between week 4 and 6 of pregnancy.

So, there I was, happy but feeling uncertain, not really able to process yet that I was becoming a mom, even though I really wanted to. However, I chose to tell my closest friends and family members. I wanted to have a support system in case I miscarried. Some choose to keep it just between them and their partner – I wanted to have all of my support system by my side.

I also had to look for a midwife at week 5 (here in Germany midwives are scarce, so you have to start your search very early), which I thought was insane since there was no way to know whether the baby would make it!

On week 8 I had my first appointment at the doctor to confirm my pregnancy. They did an ultrasound and there it was, my little bean😊.

My biggest fears were that there would be no heartbeat or that I would have an ectopic pregnancy. So I felt a huge rush of relief when I saw that teeny tiny little heart moving on the screen.