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I'm not a mother myself yet, so I don't really know what it means to be a mom. However, recently I've had the honor to learn with a bit more depth what it means to become a mother. Most of my girlfriends are new moms, my sister is a lovely mother of two super intelligent kids and I've had the chance to interview my mom into the workings of what it means to be an experienced mom.
You see, I want to become a mom someday, and so I thought the best way to be prepared for the biggest job in humanity is to ask women who have done the job or are doing the job about their best secrets and tricks on being mothers. What keeps them going? How do they manage to work 24/7 and be there for everything and everyone? How can they multi-task on so little sleep? How do they handle the selfishness of their toddler and eventually of their teenage kid? How do they cope with the separation anxiety once they are gone and off to live their own lives? How do they practice self-care? Is that even possible once you become a mom?
What I have discovered until now, is that there really aren't any secrets or tricks. The only thing I keep hearing over and over again is that your heart and intuition speak to you like never before once you become a mom, and you just act from nothing else but the power and energy of love.
I also discovered that becoming a mom gives you super powers
The brain changes in amazing ways. Moms are able to better control their emotions, they are more alert and able to function on little sleep and are more empathetic. The connection they develop with their child at birth and the years to follow defines how the child will relate to another person. So basically, moms are badass super heroes - They shape society, they shape the world.
Yet, many moms are not aware of these brain changes that shape you in the mom you will become, on the neurobiological changes all mothers can expect to face. Just like many more do not know that they will experience symptoms such as hopelessness, excessive worrying, trouble bonding with baby, or a loss of interest in friends and family. As many as 1 in 5 women will develop postpartum mood disorders at some point after giving birth.
Moms, you are so so so so badass
Motherhood not only means that you bring a new human into the world, you also bring with you a new person, yourself as a mom - revamped and ready to take on the world. I wish I would have known this before so that I could have been of more support to my girlfriends who had just given birth. But the past cannot be changed, so here I am, writing about the reality of becoming a mom and hoping that this helps new and future moms in the world.
I love you, I see you, you are doing great and you are amazing!